Sleepwalking through life.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons, white ribbons

Have you ever closed your eyes while walking? You could be taking a hike in the mountains or walking along the beach side but the entire time you can’t see anything. Maybe you’re walking in a beautiful downtown area with impressive displays in the windows but your eyes are closed. You have no idea what is around you.

It would be ridiculous to keep your eyes closed during these experiences. Not only could you hurt yourself because you have no clue what is around you but you could be missing out on a lot of things.

I’ve caught myself walking around blind but with my eyes open. I’m in my own little world, walking to the step of my own beat. I believe that my life is chaotic & busy and that taking time out to reflect is not achievable because I don’t “have” the time.

Sometimes I intentionally sleepwalk through life because there are some things that I just don’t want to do. Like confronting people or being grace to those who have hurt me. I’d much rather not do anything about it so I walk past the situation and act like it never happened.

I pray, “Lord, show me You’re with me!” but my eyes are closed to my surroundings & what He is intentionally placed before me.

You know that saying, “Stop and smell the roses”? My heart aches for this because I haven’t stopped to examine or view the yardstick of my life.

I’m sleepwalking through life.

I don’t stop and look where I’m at in life because I’m anxious about the future. I don’t stop and look around to see the broken hearts because I’m worried about my single-ness & where Prince Charming is going to show up. I don’t stop and enjoy creation because I’ve told myself I have no time.

I have been sleepwalking through hundreds of experiences/landmarks which God has placed right in front of me.

“She’ll love this!”
“I want to use her here.”
“I want her to sit down and enjoy this moment.”

“Now then, stand still and see this great thing the LORD is about to do before your eyes!”-1 Samuel 12:16

We are given one life. One life to enjoy every moment, every sunrise/sunset, & every experience to know God more intimately (This list goes on!)

It’s really cool to think that God has placed things in our life because He knows that we would love it, be inspired by it, & be used by it.

I pray that we open up our eyes to where we are in life and that we take it all in. I pray that our sleepwalking in life will come to a halt and that we fall in love with the season of our lives. Let our prayer be, “Lord, open my eyes.”

“Be generous with me and I’ll live a full life; not for a minute will I take my eyes off your road. Open my eyes so I can see what you show me of your miracle-wonders. I’m a stranger in these parts; give me clear directions. My soul is starved and hungry, ravenous!—insatiable for your nourishing commands. And those who think they know so much, ignoring everything you tell them—let them have it. Don’t let them mock and humiliate me; I’ve been careful to do just what you said. While bad neighbors maliciously gossip about me, I’m absorbed in pondering your wise counsel. Yes, your sayings on life are what give me delight; I listen to them as to good neighbors!”-Psalm 119:17-24 (The Message)

Schedules have ruined my time with God.

Photo Credit: Creative Commons, merra muchut

Let me tell you about my scheduled life and how it’s ruined my time with God. BUT I might have to pencil you  in before I tell you…

My planner has become my best friend and my worst enemy. When I thought I lost it about two years ago, I actually almost cried. “MY WHOLE LIFE IS SCHEDULED IN THERE! I don’t know what’s due. I don’t know what I already planned. Where is it?!!!!”

Hello, my name is Sarah & I’m addicted to my planner.

Not only do I schedule everything but I make sure I have something to do so that I can use my planner effectively.

I’m sure that many of us believe we are “Super Humans”–people who can do everything without breaking a sweat. But in all actuality, we are exhausted, burnt out, and stripped away. We feel pulled from every angle.

Have you ever felt that way?

I take on too much. Do you? I want, no, NEED to have a full schedule–busy from when I wake up until I put my head on my pillow.

As a Recreational Therapy major, I believe in recreation and in it’s power to help deal with stress, anxiety, anger, etc. Yet I’m running around with my head cut off with my planner in hand yelling at myself, “Where to next?!!!”

If you look at my schedule you would see that I have “paint nails” scheduled in there. YES. That’s right. I had to schedule that in.

Is there a need for that?
Absolutely not. But I like seeing that I’m busy.

The problem with this is that I can’t do anything organically. It doesn’t flow out because I’ve scheduled it in (I’ve scheduled in blogging in my planner before & those blogs are still in my drafts folder–the creative juices weren’t flowing at all). I get burnt out really quick and my schedule is more of a competition with the clock so that I can finish on time.

I schedule my time with Jesus.

Okay God. You and me. 2 pm on Tuesday. 

Now don’t get me wrong. It’s great that we take time out to be with Jesus and hang out with Him. But once we start making our time with God a chore, we loose our desire to dive deeper. No wonder we get bored with our relationship with Him.

Sweet. Prayed today. Check. Read my bible–twice. Double check. Now on to the next thing.

I want my relationship to be natural but I also want to be at that realization that I need Him every single day at every hour of the day. I enjoy so much more of my time with God when I’m thirsty for Him over the time I read my Bible just to say I did it.  I’m sure you do as well.

I know that when I schedule my times with God that sometimes I don’t get everything out of it because I’m worried about the next thing that needs to be done. My mind can never be still. I can’t focus on Him. I just want to cross what I wrote down and get on to the next thing–pretty selfish of me.

I constantly hear God saying/asking, “Be still. Focus on me. Listen to My Spirit. Don’t let your mind wander on things that have no purpose. Hold on to my peace. I’m everything you need. Stop telling me how much time you’re going to give me because I’m going to ruin your schedule and get you off balanced. Can’t I be on your mind all the time?”

My prayer for my life is: “Lord, break me.”

“Break me of my crazy ideas of thinking that I need to be busy all the time. Break me of my scheduled life. Break my time and shatter the clock of my life–I want walk in Your timing. Break my heart so that I ache for You so much. Break my life in half so that I stop mid-step and become so aware of You and what You’ve placed in my life.”

A beautiful worship song that reminds me of being more of aware of Him is titled, “Holy Spirit.” In the bridge it says, “Let us become more aware of Your presence. Let us experience the glory of Your goodness.”

In the mist of our scheduled lives, I pray that you and I become more aware of Him. I also pray that we throw off the idea that we are “too busy for God”. He deserves our whole day.

“Turn my heart toward your statutes and not toward selfish gain. Turn my eyes away from worthless things; preserve my life according to your word”-Psalm 119:36-37

Anxiety: Go take a hike.

Anxiety.

When you think about anxiety, what comes to mind?

For me, I think of the current stressful events of my life. These events become a list. A list which makes me freak out because I think about how little time I have to complete what needs to be done. It all becomes heavy on my chest, my mind gets foggy, and I can’t decide where I should start.

Anxiety has controlled me.

I recently dealt with some anxiety in my life until God started talking and reminded me who is in control.

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.”-Philippians 4:6 NLT

Do you ever feel like you cry out to God for help last minute? You’ve gone through the battle and you’ve practically lost your leg when you realize, “Oh yeah…GOD, I NEED YOU!!!!!”

Anxiety doesn’t have to control us.

Trust me on this, I sometimes forget to realize how big God is. I forget that He has everything under control and that I shouldn’t get myself worked up.

I’m learning that I need to sit myself down, take a deep breath and say/pray, “Lord, I need you. I know you have everything worked out so please give me peace in this situation. Thank you God for how You’ve intervened in my life and how You will never leave me. Remind me God of how good You are.”

Anxiety doesn’t have a hold on us–we have made life so much more complicated then it really is.

“Give your burdens to the Lord, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall.”-Psalm 55:22 NLT

Don’t let the devil push you into thinking that you’ll always be an anxious person, because with God we should no longer be anxious.

Believe me, I am catching myself trying to medicate my anxiety with things other than Christ. I’m praying that very prayer shared above because I know only God will be our full source of relief.

It’s so important to read the truth that God has placed in His Word about how we shouldn’t worry and how we need to trust in Him. Read these verses to be encouraged and place your trust in God on how He will never leave you to deal with your anxiety/worry/problems/fears/etc alone.

Matthew 6:25-34
Matthew 11:28-30
John 14:27
1 Peter 5:6-8
Hebrews 13:5-6
Proverbs 3:5-6

amazing people. amazing things to read/listen to.

Image source: techlovedesign (blogs & coffee)

I love to read. My dad is an avid reader and my mom loves learning. I’m blessed by getting both of these genes.

Amazon has become my best friend & I could spend my afternoon in a bookstore.

I love finding new bloggers. I am continually needing a different point of view or a different style of writing in my life.

Searching through tags on WordPress is also a favorite. I like searching “devotional”, “Jesus”, “Christianity” and “encouragement.” I also love searching YouTube videos of sermons.

When I find something I HAVE to share with my friends! I’ll text them something like, “Hey! I just finished this amazing book. You NEED this!!!”

This post is just a mini list of blogs, books, and sites that I’ve been enjoying lately. They have keeping my spiritual tank full.

Enjoy

Authors/Bloggers/Cool People/Cool Sites

Ruthie Dean @ www.ruthiedean.com
-Found her through Twitter randomly. Enjoy her honest posts about relationships, God, singleness, & stuff girls deal with.

Holley Gerth @ www.holleygerth.com
-Found her on Amazon by complete accident. Holley is identical to the person who I want to be like. She is extremely friendly !!! Because of her, I feel like I have a cheerleader on the sidelines of my life rooting for me to go after my God-sized dreams. You will instantly love her.

Katie McAleece @ www.actuallykatie.com 
-This lady has become a great friend. Native of Louisiana, Katie pours her heart out on life, the loss of her dad, and for her love of coffee & many other things.  She also tweets at @katiemcaleece. Her tweets are retweet worthy. She’s sweet, kind, and hilarious.

Jennifer Hope @ www.jennifershopeblog.com
-Jennifer writes beautifully about life and what God’s been teaching her. She’s a girl of encouragement and HOPE (what a awesome last name!) She loves pouring into young women to encourage them to stay pure.

Ruth Rutherford @ www.ikissedmydategoodnight.com
-Ruth is a 32 year old single who writes about the dating scene and how dating is extremely hard especially as a Christian. Her posts are hilarious and raw. I know you’ll enjoy her stuff!

Stephanie Louise May @ www.thelipstickgospel.com
-I LITERALLY just found her & I’m already loving it. “The Lipstick Gospel is a celebration of beauty and individuality and the process. It’s a place that’s real and authentic and raw- where true stories of redemption are told.”

Lifechurch.tv @ www.lifechurch.tv
-”LifeChurch.tv wants to make a lasting difference in your life, in our community, and in the world. How do we go about that? By leading people to become fully devoted followers of Christ. That’s the driving purpose behind everything we do.”

Books

Weird by Craig Groeschel

Altar Ego by Craig Groeschel

Empty Promises by Pete Wilson

Love Does by Bob Goff

You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream by Holley Gerth

These people are just a little taste of who influences my walk with Christ & my relationships with people. Thankful for them. I hope you check out their sites & read some (or all) of the books.

Throughout the year I will share another list of amazing people (amazing instruments for the Kingdom).

-Sarah